You’re reading this because you probably have a toddler at home who you think is probably ready to get started potty training.
We’re going to dive into the top 3 potty training methods: Elimination Communication Training, Child-Directed Potty Training (Brazelton), and the 3-Day Method.
If you’re not sure if your child is ready to get started, check out my post on when to get started potty training, and when to wait.
If you know you’re ready, let’s do this!
Potty TRAINING: ThAT FIRST TIME
I can still recall this moment vividly, and it’s been almost 2 years ago now.
My husband and I were sitting in the living room, when we heard it.
It took us a moment to even realize what was going on.
For most, it’s one of the most common and mundane sounds you can think of.
For parents of toddlers, it deserves a Grammy award.
The independent toilet flush.
In this post, we’ll explore the basics of potty training and compare 3 different ways to toilet train.
Take a deep breath. (Preferably not near the diaper pail.)
Clear your head of all the excuses and I can’ts.
You can do this.
What Is Potty Training?
Potty training is teaching a child to stop using diapers and to pee or poop in a toilet (or port-a-potty, or… behind a bush… hey, we’ve all had to at one time in our lives!).
When Will My Kid Be READY?
The average age a child begins to toilet train is 27 months, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine. It could take up to 8 months before your kid is fully potty trained.
RELATED: When to Start Potty Training and When to Wait
What do I mean by “fully potty trained”? You either are or you aren’t, right? Not exactly.
There’s different stages to potty training: daytime, nap-time, and nighttime.
And each stage is a huge victory you should celebrate!
Most kids will be daytime trained first, then nap-time, and nighttime last.
Before you even begin, just expect that full potty training happens over time and in stages. Stay positive and look for progress. They’ll get there!
The Basics
All potty training methods follow these basic steps:
- Teach potty-related vocabulary.
- Explain what the toilet is for.
- Make a routine for going potty, and stick with it!
Sound too simple? Reread step 3: …stick with it.
This is always the hardest part, but I’ve found consistency is EVERYTHING.
When I started the process with my then 17-month-old, I was so relieved when naps and nighttime rolled around and I could put her diaper on again.
Being hyper-vigilant to prevent accidents and establishing new routines is HARD WORK.
But, if you’re just getting started with potty training, I encourage you to STICK WITH IT!
The reward of having a fully potty-trained child who goes to the bathroom by herself, unprompted, and doesn’t need diapers at night will Change. Your. Life.
Can you imagine that feeling? Are you ready?
Alright, let’s do this.
ToP 3 Potty Training Methods
There is no one size fits all when it comes to potty training.
Every child is going to be different, and the best method is ultimately the one that actually works.
Browse through these popular potty training methods and choose the one that you think your child will respond best to.
Elimination Communication Training
Concept: Starting early is the key. If you wait too long, your child will get used to diapers and resist potty training as they get older. Most babies in the rest of the world start potty training with elimination communication.
- Watch for signs that your baby needs to eliminate. This could be getting red in the face, grunting, etc.
- Hold your baby over a toilet seat and make a cuing sound (like “pshhhh”) or repeat a word over and over, like “pee-pee.”
- Repeat until your baby is conditioned to go when you make the cuing sound or say your potty word.
Does it work? My mom convinced me to try this with my oldest.
We didn’t last long. It just wasn’t practical for us when we have diapers readily available!
Babies are not physically able to walk to the bathroom. I just didn’t see the point of getting my baby accustomed to peeing and pooping in the toilet before she could even walk or talk.
There are better, more helpful things to teach your baby at this age.
I do agree that starting younger before you get into the power struggles is HUGE. More on that later…
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Get the book: The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh
Child-Directed POtty Training (Brazelton Method)
Concept: This method was developed by Dr. T. Berry Brazelton in the 1960’s. Hence, the name: Brazelton method. The philosophy is that kids under 2 years are not ready to potty train, and if they are pushed to start too early, they’ll become rebellious and defiant.
Children should potty train at their own pace; parents must wait for the child to initiate the process and follow their child’s lead.
- Introduce the potty and let your kid sit on it… if she wants. Take your cues from her reaction.
- Invite her to try sitting on the potty with pants off. If she does it, praise her, but not so much that she’ll feel too pressured by your expectations.
- Let her sit on the potty after going in her diaper. Empty the contents (if any) into the potty and explain that this is where poops and pees go.
- Let her go without a diaper for a while, typically at times when she’s most likely to experience potty-going success. But, no pressure…
- If she’s still resistant to the idea, stop potty training and try again in a month or two.
Does it work? Probably? Eventually?
It could be years before your child expresses a desire to use the toilet (some parents have waited until their child was 5!). If you’re depending on your child’s wants and desires, it could take up to a year to fully potty train a child.
There’s also the risk that a child won’t take potty training seriously without more active involvement from the parents.
My philosophy is that good, loving parents who are intentional about knowing their child, will know when and how to get started. They will know how much praise their child needs and will love them enough to lead them, even when it’s difficult.
Children’s feelings should be heard and respected, but parents should take the responsible for making decisions.
Get the book: Toilet Training The Brazelton Way by T. Berry Brazelton and Joshua D. Sparrow
Three-Day Method
Concept: Parents dedicate a few days to potty-training, accelerated bootcamp style. This method will require full commitment from all caregivers involved, and good planning, as there can be no distractions.
RELATED: The Best Gear for Potty Training Success
BurnTake away the diapers.- Start naked on Day 1, then commando (pants on, underwear off) on Day 2, and finally end with both pants and underwear by Day 3.
- Offer your child lots and lots of fluids. This will increase the likeliness of his having to pee throughout the day. Practice makes perfect!
- Watch for signs that he needs to go and help him make it in time!
- Put your child on the potty often. Eventually he will figure out what it feels like to have the urge to go and recognize that he has to go in the toilet.
Does it work? Yes. And it can be fun, if planned and timed properly. Think of it as a little potty training vacation.
It’s doable. You can do anything for three days, right?
The shorter time period means no mixed messages and less likelihood of quitting.
Variations on this method abound, and you can easily adapt the method to fit your style.
We did this to start potty training our oldest when she was 17 months old (while she was still young enough not to argue!), and I plan on doing it with our baby when she is ready.
This is definitely the fastest and easiest method of the three. For daytime potty training at least.
Get the book: Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jaime Glowacki
Can’t decide which method to use?
No worries! Just because you started with one approach, doesn’t mean you have to continue using it if it’s not working!
It’s perfectly fine to try something else if your child is not responding well.
Just make sure you’ve stuck with one method long enough to give it a chance to work.
Some say 10 days… I’d give it a month.
Remember, consistency is the key with any kind of training you do whether potty or not.
More Potty Training Ideas for Boys and Girls
Here are other potty training ideas to consider:
- Using a reward system (stickers or treats) for good potty training behaviors, such as sitting on the toilet, peeing, voiding, communicating need to go, etc.
- Going naked (the kid, not you) for several days to build awareness of where pees and poops come from
- Take it outside. If it’s warm enough (and your neighbors don’t care), you can potty train outside.
- Training in sessions. Pick a few hours a day to focus on potty training and go diaper free; increase the amount of time they are diaper free by 15 minutes every day.
- Part-time diapers. You can use diapers for naptime and nighttime only while you’re daytime training your child; to avoid confusion, you may want to use different brands or types of diapers for naps and nights
- Potty training party. Have all your kid’s potty training friends come over and celebrate the start of using a potty together. Note: This does not mean using a potty all together…
For more potty training ideas, check out my list of 16 ways to make potty training less stressful.
Tips for Potty Training Boys
- Definitely potty train sitting down.
- Poops happen when seated, and often pees happen at the same time too. Potty training is not about technique (sitting or standing); it’s about learning to get poops and pees into the toilet!
- Don’t rush into peeing standing up. Remember, he’s gotta be tall enough to reach…
- When your boy is ready to pee standing up, he may need a role model to show him how. This is where Dad or big brother can shine.
- Pop a couple Cheerios in the toilet for target practice when he’s tall enough to pee standing up!
- Keep disinfectant, paper towels, and other cleaning supplies near the toilet. Accidents happen, and sometimes not-so-accidents happen, too.
Tips for Potty Training Girls
- Teach girls to wipe from front to back. Discourage wiping with the same piece of toilet paper more than once.
- Have her lean forward slightly on the toilet.
- Keep a pack of flushable wet wipes near the toilet for times when a dry wipe is just not enough…
Simple Potty Training Tips You Should Do Now
- Look before you flush. Get real comfortable with the sight of pees and poops. Talk about it. My toddler liked to say what colors she saw. *shudder* This is the best way to get kids to understand what pees and poops are and where they come from.
- Take note of when they finished their last drink. Twenty minutes later, it’s all going to have to come out. Try not to be stuck on the potty yourself around this time.
- Protect fabrics and rugs. Get your grandmother’s antique rug out of the house. Cover couches with plastic or towels. Put a waterproof mattress protector on your child’s bed.
- Increase awareness of the urge to go. Talk with your child about how we pee and poop and what it feels like to hold it in and let it out.
- Let your child see you use the toilet. Explain what you’re doing as you go.
- Read some books about going potty.
- Stay positive. As a society we put too much pressure on potty training. It doesn’t have to be as hard as everyone says, and it doesn’t have to happen the way everyone says it should. Go into it with a positive attitude and with the understanding that you’re not perfect, and your kid sure isn’t either!
RELATED: 17 Ways to Prepare a Toddler for Potty Training
Best Potty Training Books
Kids need to know about the go, too. Start with these 5 children’s books on going potty.
Sweet little book about a baby wondering where to go potty. He finally goes in a little potty chair and celebrates with his parents.
2. Big Girl Panties by Fran Manushkin
A lighthearted, positive book about a little girl who is proud of being old enough to wear big girl panties.
3. I Use the Potty: Big Kid Power by Maria van Lieshout
A simple, brightly colored book celebrating a toddler’s transition from baby to big kid who uses the potty.
4. Super Pooper and Whizz Kid Potty Power by Eunice Moyle & Sabrina Moyle
This is great for older kids who are into superheroes. It’s formatted like a comic book and includes punchy graphics and eye-catching typography.
5. Where’s the Poop? by Julie Markes & Susan Kathleen Hartrung
Lift-the-flap book showing that all kinds of animals have a place to poop… even kids.
Best Books on Potty Training Methods
Want more great books on potty training? Browse my whole list of the best potty training books.
- Stress-Free Potty Training: A Commonsense Guide to Finding the Right Approach for Your Child by Sara Au and Peter L. Stavinoha, MD
- This is my favorite guide! Do you have a Goal-Oriented, Sensory-Oriented, Internalizing, Impulsive, or Strong-Willed child? Writer Sara Au and pediatric neuropsychologist Peter Stavinoha will teach you to toilet train your child in a way that WORKS WITH his or her personality.
- Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jaime Glowacki
- Great guide to potty training in 3 days with a 6 step method. Glowacki is lighthearted and funny and really goes in depth with toilet training challenges. As the longest book of this bunch, it’s sure to answer all your questions about potty training! Get this if you are the type of person who just wants to know ALL. the. things.
- The Complete Guide to Potty Training: The Step-by-Step Plan with Expert Solutions for Any Mess by Michelle D. Swaney
- This comprehensive guide includes a 5-step plan ideally completed over a 3-day period. Author Michelle Swaney is the founder of The Potty School.
- Keys to Toilet Training by Meg Zweiback
- Written by a pediatric nurse, this book covers different approaches to potty training and offers tips for dealing with setbacks, like constipation and bedwetting.
- The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh
- All about elimination communication
- Toilet Training The Brazelton Way by T. Berry Brazelton and Joshua D. Sparrow
- All about child-directed potty training
All Potty Training Articles
This is a complete list of the articles I’ve written on potty training! Good luck with the go, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
How Will You POtty Train your Toddler?
Leave a comment about how potty training is going. What’s working, and what didn’t work?
I really liked that you mentioned that you should let your child go without a diaper for a while. I have been thinking about starting to train my son to be able to have him use the potty by himself whenever he feels the need. Somebody told me that I should get some disposable fabric toilet cover so that the cleanup is easier, and I will start looking for it.