Why Jokes for Kids?
I can remember when I was a kid, being so genuinely amused by a cleverly written pun that I would retell the best jokes to my family and friends, over and over.
I knew 100s of jokes by memory, and loved making up my own, too. I mean, I was voted class clown in 3rd grade. I still have the framed certificate to prove it.
Kids love to laugh and be silly. I find it fascinating that humans are the only species that truly laugh. And we love to make others laugh as well.
It’s energizing. It’s social. It’s stress-relieving. It’s better than medicine.
Criteria: Jokes Must Be Clean, Clever, and Hilarious
There are tons of jokes out there. I wrote some of these and brought together the best of the best with the following requirements:
The jokes have to be clean, clever, and of course hilarious.
If you want even more jokes, bookmark these 40 Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes for Kids, to read after!
80+ Best Jokes for Kids
Why was the cell phone scared to go to the dentist?
He didn’t want him to remove his blue tooth.
What did the stuttering pirate say when he turned 80 years old?
Aye, Aye, Matey!
What did one bug on the windshield say to the other bug on the windshield?
I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again.
What do dinosaurs and the 9th planet in our solar system have in common?
They’re both extinct.
What do you give a scientist with bad breath?
Experi-mints
Where does a scientist wizard work?
In a labracadabratory
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Nope, not arrrrr. X marks the spot of treasure. You think pirates like R’s more than treasure?
What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity?
Nothing. He was too shocked to speak.
Why was the Roomba late for class?
It overswept
What did the picture do to end up in jail?
Nothing. He was framed!
What musical instrument would you find in a bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste
What word has 5 letters and starts with “gas”?
Truck
What did the husband pen say to the wife pen?
You’re always write.
What race is never run?
The human race
What is a robot’s favorite snack?
Computer chips
What is a calendar’s favorite food?
Dates
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopaths.
Who makes money by driving their customers away?
Uber drivers
Why did the motorcycle not want to go hiking?
Because he was two-tired
What kind of award do dentists hate to receive?
A plaque
Get the printable version of these jokes and stick one in your kids’ backpack or lunchbox everyday!
What did the hat say to the head?
I’ve got you covered.
What do you call a medieval lamp?
Knight light
Why couldn’t the pirate find his playing cards?
He was standing on the deck
What did the baby laptop call her father?
Data
Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
He woke up.
What do you call a criminal at the North Pole?
A brrr-gular
Why did the thief shower before robbing the bank?
So he could make a clean get-away!
What do you call something that has the head of a man and the tail of an eagle?
A quarter
What is the ocean’s favorite laundry detergent?
Tide
What’s the difference between a TV and a magazine?
Ever try to swat a fly with a TV?
Why can a hand not be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What is a lawyer’s favorite outfit?
A lawsuit
Why did the sink ask if the toilet was feeling okay?
He looked flushed.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says spit out your gum and the other says, “Chew, chew!”
What do you call people who love ceilings?
Ceiling fans
Did you get that joke about the ceiling?
Me neither. I guess it was over my head.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers
Why could the pirate never learn the letter “D”?
Because he always got lost at C.
Why did the escalator going up never want to touch the other escalator?
The other escalator was always coming down with something.
Why did Liam go out with a fig?
Because he couldn’t get a date.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel
What kind of athlete is most like a spider?
Baseball player, they both catch flies!
Why did we first decide to put candles on top of a birthday cake?
It was too hard to blow them out when they were on the bottom.
Why was the traffic light late for his date?
It took him too long to change.
Why couldn’t the NASA scientist get a room reservation on the moon?
It was full.
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck-an-ear
What animal can you always find a a softball game?
A bat
What kind of key doesn’t open locks?
A monkey
Why was it so cold in the basketball arena?
There were so many fans.
GET THE PRINTABLE VERSION TO PUT IN YOUR KID’S 🤣 BACKPACK OR LUNCHBOX HERE ♥
What kind of witch can’t do any magic?
A sandwich
Why did you stop being a vegetarian?
It was a huge missed steak.
Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
They just finished a 31 day march.
What is fast and crunchy?
A rocket chip
Where do people in Antarctica get their hair cut?
At the brrr-brrr shop
Jokes with Rhyming Answers
What do you call a phony serpent?
A fake snake
What do you call an overweight dog?
A round hound
What kind of party is thrown in a cemetery?
A grave rave
What does a ghoul eat for dinner?
Ghost roast
What do you call a furry bird?
A hairy canary
What do you call a tired tent?
A sleepy teepee
What do you call an enchanted iguana?
The wizard lizard
What do you call a jelly bean found on the beach?
Sandy candy
How do you weigh an orca?
With a whale scale
What do you call a bull’s food?
Cow chow
What do you call a mean sandwich?
Rude food
More Jokes
What is the most musical kind of animal?
Fish, they’re full of scales.
What does a desert nurse always carry?
A thirst-aid kit
What did the astronaut say to the nosy reporter?
No comet
What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Why do Santa’s elves love making hip-hop music?
To show off their wrapping skills
How do you prepare for a party in outer-space?
You planet
What kind of party do snails have?
A shell-ebration
Why wasn’t the dolphin sorry?
Because he did it on porpoise
What do you call a bear who lost its dentures?
A gummy bear
What is the largest moth ever discovered?
The mammoth
Which country is always in a hurry?
Rush-a!
How do you calm an astronaut baby?
You rocket
What do you get a hunter for his birthday?
A birthday pheasant
My friend likes to take the elevator, but I like to take the stairs.
I guess we were raised differently.
What do you call a wet bear?
A drizzly bear
What do you call someone who can’t stick to their diet?
A desserter
Get the printable version of these jokes and stick one in your kids’ backpack or lunchbox everyday!
I hope you enjoyed and found these jokes to be as hilarious as I did! Which was your favorite? Comment below!
If you want even more jokes, check out these 40 Hilarious Knock Knock Jokes for Kids.