Hi! I’m Karen, and welcome to Entertain Your Toddler.
Quitting my job as a full-time copyeditor and becoming a stay-at-home mom was one of the toughest decisions I’ve made.
Why am I doing this? Why do I need to be the one taking care of my babies instead of someone else? Isn’t there a more productive use of my time?
I realized, though, that we only get one shot at this parenting thing. We only get one lifetime to love our kids.
What will happen afterwards when they grow up? Will they look back on their childhoods and say, “Mom and Dad loved us and taught us everything we know”? Will they still want to ask us for advice and give us hugs and kisses?
Thinking ahead like this is too surreal for me. I have a toddler and a baby at home with me. I am in the thick of parenting, and all I want at this moment are kids that can fend for themselves for a few minutes!
Being a parent is humbling. And stressful. It’s a lot of work to raise kids and form real relationships with them. Our culture is all about “hurry up, go faster,” and being a parent often involves a lot of “wait, stop, slow down.”
So how do I teach my kids important life lessons? How do we build a connected family? Where do I even start?
I eventually came to realize:
Families are stronger when they play together.
And I’m not talking about tossing a box of blocks on the floor and letting our kids play alone while we silently stare at our phones.
I’m talking about real, interactive, engaged play. Play were we let our inner kid out and let our guards down.
Now, there is a time and place for independent play. Heck, we NEED independent play just to make it through each and every day! But what I’m saying is, don’t get tired of getting down on the floor and connecting with your kids.
Life is too short to waste on being too busy and too worn out to play with your kids.
Having an organized house, having a perfect body, or posting a killer new photo is not more important than spending time together as a family. What’s going to spark the most joy for you: a perfect house or a family that loves one another?
When our second daughter was born last summer, my husband and I were stuck in that fog called “new parent.”
Our oldest lived off of PB&J sandwiches, Doc McStuffins, and Little Baby Bum. Oh, we gave her lots of hugs, a few carrot sticks and apples, and brushed her teeth. Occasionally we read her a book. We weren’t “bad parents,” we were just very, very tired and stressed-out parents of a newborn and toddler.
And that toddler let us know that she needed her parents back.
As we started to come out of the new parent fog, we began to notice that our toddler, Elena, had more time-outs than ever before. She needed more redirection. She was shouting more and just being more obstinate on those days where we brushed her off when she invited us to play or where we were too busy looking at our phones.
I think that a steady diet of TV and disengaged parents caused our oldest daughter to act out in ways she may not have if we were fully present with her.
Having a new baby is tough, granted. I don’t regret putting everything on hold to welcome and care for the tiny new life we brought into our home. I’m just saying that I now recognize the importance of carving out special time to play with each of my kids, to listen to them, and to talk to them about anything and everything.
The second I realized that our toddler was growing up without a fully present, fully engaged mom and dad, I flipped the switch. I just started doing more with her.
Like trying finger painting together.
Or tossing a balloon back and forth.
And making banana muffins with her.
Our kids, more than anything, want to be seen. They want to be understood.
Sometimes when I’m not paying attention, Elena will say, “Look at me, Mommy! Look at my eyes!” and she’ll grab my face and point it at hers, not letting go until I’m looking straight into her eyes.
I forget that sometimes.
A child who can’t string together complete sentences still needs to feel understood.
A toddler who shouts the same thing over and over just wants to know that you are listening and that you understand her.
Isn’t that what we want for ourselves? Don’t we all just want to be noticed and understood? To be connected with others and know that we’re not alone?
I don’t want to miss out on my girls’ childhoods.
After all, no one looks back on their lives and thinks, Man, I wish I had spent more time grinding away at the office. OrI really wish I had binge-watched those first three seasons of Lost again.
No, when my hair is gray and my husband and I are old, I want us all to look back on this season of life and say, “That was time well-spent.”
This is why playing with our kids is so important.
This is why I get down on the floor and build castles, or sing “Let It Go” for the 12th time in a row, just so I can connect with my daughter and let her know:
I see you.
I hear you.
I understand you.
I love you.
I want to know you better.
Families are stronger when they play together. So pick an activity, grab your kids, and let’s play.
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