Having your first baby is life-changing. But adding a second baby to the family is crazy!
I thought I had it all figured out when I gave birth to another baby. But naturally, just when you think you know it all, life proves that you don’t!
Here are 7 things I learned from having a second child.
7 Things To KNow About Having A Second Baby
1. You’re going to feel like a new mom all over again.
Baby #2 is not going to be exactly like Baby #1. She’s a brand-new, unique individual, so don’t think she’ll act the same as her older sibling!
I felt so lost when what worked for my first, wasn’t working for the second!
I realized I needed to treat my new daughter as a different person because, well, she IS a different person!
Once I stopped comparing my two babies and accepted that they were both different, I started to understand my new baby a whole lot better!
Are you feeling lost, too? Don’t despair. You’re a great mom! You just haven’t known Baby #2 for quite as long as Baby #1.
2. Nothing Will Faze You.
Even though you’ll feel like a new mom again at first, you’ll simultaneously be a lot more chill about stuff you never let happen with Baby #1!
Baby #2 has licked the floor, slept all night in a swing, eaten dried leaves, and worn clothes that haven’t been pre-washed.
These were all huge no-no’s for me with my oldest. But now I know there are more important things to stress about… like whether the babysitter will be cool with us staying out another hour…
3. People Forget That You Need Help with the New Baby.
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When you have your first, it can seem like family and friends are lining up at the door ready to hold the baby and make you dinner.
The second time around? You having a baby is old news.
Oh, she’s already had a baby before. She doesn’t need help.
WRONG. Moms and dads of all numbers of children need. our. help.
My advice to you if no one’s jumping up to sweep your floor and pick up your groceries? Just ask.
Ask Grandma and Grandpa to watch your other child for an hour or two while you rest with baby.
Ask your best friend to double her amazing lasagna recipe and bring the extra over to you.
Ask your sister to bring Starbucks with her when she comes to visit.
It never hurts to ask.
Planning to breastfeed? Enroll in a breastfeeding course or join a support group.
RELATED: The Ultimate Breastfeeding Class: A Review
4. You’re going to have two kids to care for.
Our oldest was two when we had our second baby. She needed a lot of attention and care at that age (still does!).
I think I kind of forgot that I would need to do things for her once the new baby came. I must have thought she would magically start taking care of herself.
Spoiler alert: she didn’t.
I can’t tell you how many times I would sit down to nurse and my oldest would need help getting to the bathroom or suddenly become severely dehydrated and needing water NOW!
Set Yourself Up to Succeed
What can you do right now to make taking care of two kids easier in the future?
- Make nursing supply baskets if you’re breastfeeding. Put all the supplies you’ll need to nurse your newborn, like snacks, nipple cream, breast shells, water, etc, in a basket so you won’t have to get up once you start feeding.
- Set up a few busy boxes for your oldest. These are boxes of fun stuff that your kid can play with when you’re busy with the baby or just needing half an hour to yourself. Find out how to make a busy box here.
- Make freezer meals. Make lots and lots of meals you can pop in the crockpot or oven to take care of dinner with minimal effort. Here’s a list of healthy freezer meals from Pinch of Yum.
- Prep supplies for baby. Have diapering stations set up all over the house. Get baby alllll the things. It never hurts to be prepared. We used the Frida Baby Gaspasser on our second, and I never in a million years would have thought I would need those things!
- Have healthy drinks and snacks accessible for your oldest. I wish I’d done this. Don’t be like me, and plan ahead!
5. You can’t do it all. And that’s OK.
The house is never going to look as clean as it did before you had two kids. The pantry might have a few more convenience foods and less of the organic stuff. You might spend a few days in yoga pants and be spritzing the dry shampoo a bit more than you used to.
It’s OK to let the little things go in order to do something that’s more important.
You can’t do it all, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to.
Give yourself a little grace. And take a bubble bath.
Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression can affect any new mom and might show up even if you didn’t get it with your first. Know the signs:
- Feeling depressed
- Severe mood swings
- Crying excessively
- Feelings of worthlessness, shame, or guilt
- Fear that you’re not a good mother
- Not being able to think clearly or make decisions
- Severe anxiety or panic attacks
- Withdrawing from family and friends
For more info, including more signs of postpartum depression, check out this article from the Mayo Clinic.
6. Maintaining a Positive Attitude is Essential.
There will be days where you’ll feel like everything is out of control. Heck, I felt this way with ONE kid!
Maintaining a positive attitude is essential for surviving in a home with two+ kids.
When things go wrong, it’s OK. When things don’t go according to plan, try again in a different way. Make like water and just go with the flow.
Turn the Negative into a Positive
Find something to laugh about when things at home get tough.
Find one thing to be thankful for when everything seems to be going wrong.
Take deep breaths, count to ten, do whatever it is that you do to shake off the negativity and maintain the positivity.
7. You’re going to love your new baby just as much as your first.
Love is an amazing thing. It grows, and grows, and grows.
All the love you have for your first baby, you’ll feel for your new baby.
And it is an amazing thing.
To All You New Moms
Thank you for raising these little humans.
You’re amazing.
You’re loved.
You’re beautiful.
And we appreciate you!